Is it still called nostalgia if you haven't even left yet?

It seems to me that Bordeaux has blossomed overnight. I first noticed it stepping out of my host family's car a week ago. We had just gotten back from Garorock; it was two in the morning on Sunday night, pitch black. I was already half-asleep, clutching a backpack full of beer-stained clothes, and suddenly there it was - the scent of lilacs in the air. In the dead of night, I couldn't tell where it was coming from; a mystery, but unmistakable nonetheless. It wasn't until the next morning that I saw the piles of cut flowering branches stacked on the living room table, lavender petals tumbling to the floor. 

A few days later trees along my street started to explode with clusters of loose pink petals.

Yesterday, during Easter lunch, I noticed for the first time that the garden was green. The glass door to the yard facing the table was thrown wide open, letting in the midday light. Anna was traipsing through the grass with two small English children, friends of the family, showing them how to make wildflower bouquets from daisies that have sprung up in the lawn. Sarah was perched on the sun-warmed steps, an English version of Harry Potter clutched in her hands. I looked up and saw green leaves spreading from the giant tree in the yard without a clue as to when they appeared.

As idyllic as spring in Bordeaux is, it also serves as a reminder of all the time that has already passed, and the precious few weeks that remain. I am not even close to being ready to leave. French people generally seem surprised when I tell them that I have no desire to go back to the States, but I honestly feel like I could stay here forever. There are certainly things I miss about the US (like education, for example...), but it's not enough to tempt me back. A while ago I had a dream that I was back in America. Nothing was happening in this dream other than the extreme consciousness that my time in France had ended, and the pang of nostalgia I felt toward this country that I've come to love.

On the train from San Sebastian to Hendaye in Pays Basque, Tiff and I had a conversation about the possibility that to our host families, we're just one of many lodgers passing through. Even though I feel that I've truly bonded with my host sisters and my host mom, I'm still only one of four (and most likely more in the future) Californian girls who have stayed here. And while this has been a formative experience for me, I know that I can't expect to have the same impact on everyone I've met these past few months. Still, I can't help hoping that I won't sink away to the land of 5-second anecdotes about "that one American girl, la Californienne." If I leave even a fraction of the impression on the French people I've met here as they've left on me, I'll be happy.  That's really all I can ask for.