"I pre-apologize for the emo"

I can't explain this feeling. I don't know if I can put it into words. It feels absurd, ridiculous, laughable, incomprehensible that everything that was your life for five months is over. It's not the same as leaving high school for college, knowing that you'll see your parents and your friends in just a few months. It's not the same as simply leaving a geographical location, even one that you love and that you think you might never see again. What I left behind in Bordeaux can only ever exist in Bordeaux, France from January 5th 2009 to June 2nd 2009, with the Barry family and all their friends, with my soulmates of EAP Bordeaux Spring 2009. What I left behind was five months of my life. It's something that is definitively over, that no amount of reunions or visits can ever recapture. This all suddenly hit me in a wave when I was looking through one of my French friend's photo albums last night, laughing at their ridiculous pictures, imagining reflexively how I would tell Alexa about them the next time I saw her, picturing us making fun of the guys for them at the next French party. Except then I realized that the next time I saw Alexa would be in the fall, in California, and the next time we would both be at a French party might be in years, if ever.

I can't do justice to how I feel with letters and grammar, so I'm going to stop writing now.